The days when Dratini and Squirtle were real

"How are you, sad young literary man?"

That is how my colleague has taken to greeting me. That line actually came from a book titled All the Sad Young Literary Men. My colleague believes I am a sad youth because of my interest in philosophy and my almost nihilistic approach to life in spite of my adolescence.

I'd rather he call me pokemon master. My knowledge of the first 151 pokemon (I stopped at 151 'cos all the pokemon that came after just seems so retarded and childish! Sheeeesh!) reaches encyclopedic level! I invested 85% of my childhood to Pokemonism (a religion founded by me in the summer of 1999). But as I evolved beyond my infantility, I learned I had to eventually accept the fact that all the pokemon died along with the dinosaurs and there's no way of bringing them back.

And get this: when I was a kid, I wanted to go to university and get a degree in pokemon, whatever that meant! That's how idiotic I was! I wanted a friggin' degree in pokemon studies! How messed up is that? Hmm, my mum did mention 'bout my drunk uncle Albert dropping me on the pavement once when I was a wee baby. That partly accounts for my maladjusted tendencies and hostility towards plants. ARH!!!