What would Socrates say?

I accidentally hit my right hand against the counter top and it suddenly dawned on me that if I were to lose my hand(s), it would suck so bad (obvious moment #1). I mean, seriously, it'd be devastating considering I use my hands for a lot of things (obvious moment #2): tennis, basketball, squash and writing; these things define part of my identity. Also, I use those very hands to eat, to run my fingers through my soft silky hair, to feel my firm buttocks clench, to give myself a hug 'cos no one wants to give me one, to cook my delicious warm potato salad, to play NBA Live on PS2 and thrash my friends, and to draw sketches of beautiful strangers who walk past me while I sit on the park bench. Damn, it would suck to lose my hands (obvious moment #3).

Then another scenario played in my head. What if the Devil were to appear before my eyes and tell me that he's gonna take away either my hands or my legs, letting me decide which body part to keep. My legs? Or my hands? Or maybe I could just ask him to forgo the dilemmatic question and just give me Thor's hammer in exchange for my soul? Which to choose? Without legs, I can't run and I can't enjoy long walks in the park or even short walks for that matter (obvious moment #4). If such an incredulous thing does happen though, I'd have to put my foot down (pun #1). Although if it was a choice between my hands and my near-useless appendix, I'd choose my hands, hands down (pun #2). Maybe I ought not to give such stupid suggestions to the Devil. I'd have to watch what I say; I wouldn't wanna put my foot in my mouth (pun #3). Someone hand me a trophy, I'm on fire! HAHAHAHAHA!

So I concluded the very irrelevant train of thought with this: I like my hands and legs; I need my hands and legs (obvious moment #5). Philosophers would marvel at my thought processes.